Why Naming Your Feelings Helps You Heal | 3 Benefits of Affect Labeling
- Ashley Beaty-Perry
- Sep 29, 2025
- 3 min read
Have you ever had that heavy, cloudy feeling—like something’s wrong, but you can’t quite put your finger on it? You just know you feel bad, but it’s hard to describe. That’s where affect labeling—or simply naming your feelings—can be so helpful.
As a secular chaplain, I’ve seen again and again how powerful this simple tool can be. Giving language to our inner world helps us feel more grounded, less alone, and more equipped to move forward.
Here are three ways naming your feelings can help you heal:
👉 If you’d rather watch the video version, you can find it here.
1. Naming Feelings Puts Shape Around the Hard Stuff
When we don’t have words, emotions can feel huge and kind of all over the place—like one big nebulous cloud of yuck.
But when we stop and say, “Okay, I’m not just sad… I’m feeling empty. Or maybe betrayed. Or maybe fearful,”—it’s like putting some edges around it. Now we’re not trying to carry everything all at once. We’re naming this thing specifically.
And the more specific we can get, the more helpful it is. Tools like a feelings wheel can be great here. They give us more words when we’re stuck on just “mad” or “sad.” Suddenly, the feeling is more concrete, and that makes it easier to grapple with.
2. Naming Feelings Reminds Us We’re Not Alone
Another really powerful thing about naming feelings is this: it shows us we’re not the only ones who have ever felt this way.
If there’s a word for it in the dictionary—resentful, lost, overwhelmed—that means this is a very human thing to feel. Countless people before us have felt it too.
And that reminder can take away some of the shame or isolation.
It’s like, “Okay, I’m not broken for feeling this. This is part of being human.” And that in itself can be such a comfort.
3. Naming Feelings Helps Us Move Through Them
Feelings don’t stay forever. They come, and they go. But when we name them, it’s easier to actually move through them.
Instead of sitting in this vague “something’s wrong,” you can say, “This is grief. This is anxiety. This is disappointment.” It doesn’t make the feeling disappear, but now it’s something you can walk through, rather than just swirl around in.
This is something we secular chaplains often do in caring conversations. We’ll say, “Do I hear you right that you’re feeling dismayed? Or maybe lonely?” Sometimes the person will light up and say, “Yes! That’s it. That’s the word.” Other times they’ll say, “No, not exactly—it’s more like…” And that helps them find the right word.
Either way, having language gives clarity. And with clarity, the person often feels validated, understood, and not so alone.
Why It’s Especially Healing After Leaving Religion
For many of us who’ve left religious systems, this practice of naming our real feelings can be extra meaningful.
In some faith spaces, emotions like doubt, fear, or sadness weren’t welcome. We might’ve been told what we “should” feel, or had our true feelings shut down. So reclaiming our right to name and honor what we actually feel—it can be a really healing gift.
It might feel hard at first, but finding safe spaces and safe people to speak honestly with makes all the difference.
A Closing Thought
So the next time you feel that heavy cloud, I encourage you to pause and ask: What’s the word for this? It may not fix everything, but it can make the journey a little easier.
And remember—you’re not alone.
💛 Ashley
Your secular chaplain
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